*English is NOT my first language! Review/analysis/rant will be edited... eventually!* "It's like watching two kids playing with their favourite action figurines, yelling at each other why one is so much better than the other, while someone presses every other minute the pause-button, and holds them still for about five to ten minutes - this goes on and on for fifty hours or so, straight!" - Pahatar, after 50 episodes of DBZ Let me tell you a little story, about how I ended up losing 100 hours of my life, into this... anime. First of all, I never saw this anime when I was a kid, so...no nostalgia for me. All the same, my interest towards this... anime, awakened only about a year ago, when I stumbled upon an Abridged version from TFS. I got all the jokes - ironically! - loved all the characters, and their witty personalities, and I was always wanting more - that can't be a bad sign from an anime/parody, right? So I took it upon to myself to find out, wether or not the original would be any better, than it's respectful parody was, and... well, this is where things get bad... really bad! And I mean... painful!
Notice, I've already seen my fair share of anime (not to brag, mind you - i've just... seen my fair share), so after reading about 100 positive reviews of this one - seriously, I'm not kiddind! - I was promised time and time again, and I quote, that "DBZ is the best of the best, what anime as a media has to offer, with best action, deepest plots, stories, and the most complex and multi-dimensional characters, that I have ever seen in any other anime ever!" - which, to be fair, sounded like a huge overstatement on so many levels! I was obviously, for not having a protecting nostalgia-shield covering my eyes and judgement, a bit sceptical, but after literally tossing a coin for about 500 times, I finaly started watching it... and ultimately, hated my decision, with a burning and painful passion!
Given how many episodes this anime had per saga alone, I took some liberties from my 'anime-watching rules', and gave this anime about 15 episodes to win me over. I bearly got through 10 episodes, when I already wanted to stop... so I did. But, back then, I still was in that mindset, that said "if you start it, you also finish it!", so I did... It took me actually full 8 months to see this turd through to the very end, and I hate myself forever and ever, for ever submitting myself to this... this!
Suffering...
But lets not be all so brutally honest now! I mean, yeah... I think DBZ is great... if you're a little boy, lacking any sence or taste or brainmatter, and seen less than ten other animes, that is!
Story (1)
The story - if I can even call it that - is in it's most bare-boned, minimalistic way very, very basic, and therefore perfectly suitable for kids with a inch-long attention-span, or those who hate well-writen/complex and/or multileveled stories in general, and can easily enjoy their bones, without the meat. No fat, no salt... just bones. No content - just some flashy lights, bells and loud sounds. Brain-numbingly boring and stupid.
You've all heard the same summary of the plot before! It's about fighting. Very, very little of actual story... but much fighting. Or training. Or people dying. Or heroes watching other people dying/training/fighting. Heroes wait for the bad guy to show up - obviously, since the training/fighting/dying/resurrection- cycle is pretty much all these guys know what to do! - bad guy shows up, heroes train, then they fight, then they die, then they fight some more, then a total ass-pull happens, the bad/good guy dies - or not, if the fans don't want him to! - and the circle repeats itself, like a inferno for a bad taste!
Let me give you an example... It's not like any good fighting game, or hentai actually needs a good story behind it, when the main audiense of these two genres just wants to see some violence and fucking, but still... I'd still be lying if I said that based on the thousand-or-more positive reviews, I wasn't expecting something more than this! Which I was! An awfully lot more! Maybe a little too much, now when I think about it...
Even in the terms of action/fighting-genre, I can remember, or even recall very little memorable action-scenes from DBZ. I can remember shouting, grunting, bright flashes of light and some ridiculously exaggerated explosions, but that's about it. I never had this same problem happen to me when I first watched FMA:B, and that show is also packed with action and fights! Action in DBZ felt pretentious, repetitive, tedious, and very, very boring to watch, which really shouldn't be the case in action-based story! I literally felt how my brain was shutting down out or mere boredom during each and every episode! That's not a good sign for a action-story, titeld as the "best of the best"!
When it comes down to the bad writing, there are really no excuses here. Toriyama really can't write coherent, appealing, or even slightly interesting and meaningful stories, nor the characters, and those who can't, or refuse to see it, are already far too deep in their smudged up pool of nostalgia - no hope for a undeserved redemption for them. The so-called plot is only there, so that the story... I mean, the fights, can proceed accordingly, a one small, blurred sprint in every 3-5 episoded!
I'll be damned to find out anyone who watches/likes DBZ because of it's "plot", "story" or "interesting characters". Violence is the biggest selling point for DBZ, being both its core and plot as a whole, but even that it cannot do even mediocrely - best action in all of anime, yeah right, no! It doesn't evolve, or develope... it just keeps repeating itself over and over, using the same tricks, but only in a slightly bigger scale... in power, that is! (Drinking game! How many times you hear the word "power", in fifteen episodes! You'll be dead!) It's dull, it's repetive, it doesn't even try to grow or evolve past it's current lines, despite all the episodes worth of time it had in on its hands to try doing so, so it doesn't even try to keep me interested enough! It just... insults me with its lazyness, and I hate when the show, that I'm "supposed" to enjoy, insults me!
Its not like simple stories are all automatically bad in my books - they just don't have to be lazy! One of my favourite animes is called Moomins and there's little to no story either, no big fights and not-so-complex characters, but its still not lazy! And DBZ is lazy. It has nothing intelligent to say, and nothing profound to give. It's lazy, because every action, threat or stake, that ever appears in the "story", is inconsequential at best, and nonsensical/boring, at worst, appealing only for the lowest common denominator, and no one else. And, the biggest sin, that allowed all of this inconsequential writing to ever take any place in the "story", were the Deus ex Machinas/asspulls, that plagued this whole show, evading any kind of actual drama, or consequenses! I mean... how much can I truly invest myself into a story, where the most pressive matters are, who's the strongest, and who fights who... or where death is just some meaningles inconvenience, since it can easily be reversed (the Earth gets blown up? No biggie! One wish from a Magic Dragon and poof - no harm done!) and those who just decide to say dead, can pretty much just easily communicate with the living, and spend their days in this dream-like training/fighting- spa for alien males, for all eternity?!
Life is worthless, death is just an inconvenience, and crime is a joke.
Death seems almost more appealing than being alive for these guys, so... why are they still alive?! Because Toriyama hates consequenses, and taking responsibilities as a writer - that's why! Thank goodness, that the Dragon can bring anybody back to life, without any real consequenses or tolls to pay, because Lord knows we don't need to deal with actual realistic drama or consequenses, or have any actual thought put into this piece of turd, now do we?! By the end of the Buu-saga, the 1/5 of the Earth's population would still be breathing, thanks to these incompetent retards!
A simple writing rule 101; you cannot create drama, if actions hold no consequenses! And in DBZ, not even a mass genocide holds no long-term consequenses, because it's either a) easily reverted, or b) nobody cares=redemption!
And that's just another big, huge gripe with me against this anime - no sense of justice! Any crime, you ever commit here, ranging from sexual harrasment to genocide, is easily forgiven, never mentioned ever again, and any punishment you may or may not receive, is pretty much just a slap on the wrist, and not always even that! Most of the "heroes" are former evil-duers and murderers, but they still get treated and glorified as if none of that ever happened, or it didn't really matter anyway - since when a genocide has ever been a crime forth of a legit punishment anyway?! It personally makes me sick to my stomach to think about a world - fictional, or otherwise - where "heroes" are actually rewarding the villains for being evil, by granting them chances to live, changes to marry, changes to do f*ck all... and the Fandom still calls these a redemption-arcs?! Truly appalling! This anime, was originally aimed for children, but... what the heck kinda moral is that for a any child?! Be a horrible monster, and later, be rewarded for that?
What?!
Still, the truly sad part to me is, that this would've been totally awesome series, if instead of intentionally being so "serious" and "epic" all the time, they could've done this to be some totally bat-shit crazy parody-like action-packed comedy... which I can only assume it was suppoused to be, considering how stupid the premise of this anime already was! If this was somewhere anywhere near being something as great as like TFS or some another parody-like story, this could've been actually enjoyable to me, but no! It just had to be stupid, bland and boring instead! What a wasted, lazy potential this was... and I hate laziness!
But, then again... maybe, I'm not even supposed to expect too much out of this! In the end... DBZ is just like those fighting/harem- games, where the story-mode is just something to skimp over, and get to the pounding! Obviously, the plot that keeps itself alive by the everlasting "training to get stronger, villains get stronger, die/get stronger, some more training 'cause why not"- plot-circle, it is evidently bound to be writen in a corner in multiple occasions, when braking the said circle becomes almost impossible. And once that said circle is soon being set in stone, it of course leaves behind all these aching questions, that I just never couldn't escape, during my watching-sessions.
Why are the saiyans only ones capable in the universe at keeping themselves relevant to the story, by always being the most powerful... considering they all do the bloody same things, and despite the fact that they're the most worst monsters in the universe by birth, and still romanticized as an "heroes", because of their said powers?!
Why can't namekians have something similar to that "once in every millenia, when the stars collide in line"- type of legend of god-like super-warriors? That being said... why can't humans have a mythos similar to that?! Why are the humans always so limited in every way imaginable?! This is literaly a world, where the dragons grant wishes, kids turn into raging monkeys and moon can be blown to bits - twice! - with no repercussions! You would think, that some more asspulling and plot-twisting-devices wouldn't hurt that much, if the most diehard fans could get to see Tien or Piccolo keep their shits together, but NO! It's all about saiyans, and no one else!
So, the "story" is not a big winner for me. But, I'm not gonna lie... this anime really paved the way out for somehing, that most of the hardcore shonen fans still wank upon even to this very day! The popularity of this anime illegitimally launched out some pretty strong and persistent clishes and traits, that are still part of oh-so-many shonen ever made since, such as;
(1) repetitive plots and stories
(2) stupid heroes and insubtansial sidecast
(3) useless tsundere/yandere women
(4) endless amount of plot-devices/convienences/ Deus ex Machinas
(4) bland/stupid/one-dimensional villains
(5) endless amount of hissy-fit transformations
(6) not-so-cool-sounding powers and/or attacks
(7) overly stretched-out fights
(8) actions having no long-term consequenses
And all so many others! Too many to even list on this review!
So, if you ever feel like complaining that most of the shonen animes on this day suffer immensely of any of these traits - or others! - blame DBZ! After all, it was so popular, because of these traits! This is the anime, that made all of those traits stick and stay, but unfortunately, most of the fandom of shounen can't be bothered to argue, since complaining about these bugs would be the same as pointing the angry fingers at their beloved power-porn- fantasies! These traits do have their fans, sure and true, but I am certainly not one of them! Being Me, who's favourite stories/plots/characters can be found from such titles like FMA:B, Death Note, Madoka Magica, Fruits Basket and Moomins, this anime doesn't meet neither my preferences, nor my standards for good quality, as a mindless, pointless, repetitive, power-obsessed shonen smack-down, and story-wise lacking even worse than some of those B-rated porn-movies! The story is not deep, it's not immaginative, it's not smart, and given how shallow, repetitive, bare-boned and bland it truly is, and how many arcs and episodes this anime has to repeat the exact same plots, traits, convienences and devices over and over again, it just can't please me, in the slightest.
Art (3)
The art is very difficult for me to critizise, let alone write about, since it holds such a little importance to me. All I care about in anime are the stories, characters and enjoyment, but, since I have so say atleast something...
The art is ugly. Very, very ugly. Some of the character designs and backgrounds look nice, but most of the time, they're just some empty, desolated wastelands, and giant craters, and basically every single move, attack and technique looks like the wreaking same thing, over and over again! There's no variation to the coreography - something, that should hold such a high ground, in any fighting-oriented anime! - and most of the time, the fights themselves are just so fast and blurried, that you can't even see them! All I see are some pows and explosions, and being so spoiled from FMA:B's fights, I'm just not satisfied!
And the characters themselves... what a mess they are! I've always said, that if you took every single protagonist from Miyasaki-movies, and took their hair and clothes off, they would look exactly the same! Well... the same thing goes with these empty blocks of muscles, since theyr'e all build the same, they pose the same way, and they all grin the same way! Hell, they all even fight the same way, since most of them already know the basic attacks, like the solar flare and kamehameha! They just shout out some stupid shonen-typed-awesome-sounding-not-so-well-varied- attack-names, that all look exactly the same, and do almost exactly the same things - blow shit up! This is not good. Not good!
Sound (2)
The sounds are... guite horrendous, if you ask me! I can't remember any of the musical tracks, and what I can remember from the voice actors was... well, not one of their brightest performances, to say the least! Most of the dialog is just some grunting, shouting and screaming, and whatever actual lines there are, even the five-year-old could easily come up with!
And don't even get me started on how badly the american dub messed up the original japanese script, to better sell these characters as a heroes, instead of bastards that they truly are - Goku and Vegeta, mainly. This is fanfiction-level of writing... as basic as any writing, or voice-acting gets, but let's face it... no one's gonna see this mess because of it's writing, right?! Like in any fanfiction, is all about fucking... erh, fighting!
I do like, that my favourite voice-actor, Chris Sabat is being given so many roles in this one, but... does he really have to sound like a smoking frog, while playing Piccolo? I just don't get it.
Characters (1)
So many prases for the series stems from the characters, and how deep, multi-dimensional and interesting they all are, but to me, they all seem like a shallow, grey, dirty, non-appealing mess, so much so that I almost thought I was watching something totally unrecognizable mistake!
The so-called "heroes" - heroes of the circumstance, if anything else! - of ours, are ultimately just bunch of emotionally retarted, hyperactive and sadistic, psychothic, immoral and mentally unstable five-year- olds, in ludigrous grown-up bodies, with very little personality, absolutely no dimensions, little to no motivation, and absolutely no subtlety - I'm looking at you, Vegeta! Most of the "heroes" of the show, I would without any pain declare as monsters, because let's be honest... genocide is unforgivable, no matter how much the Fandom wants to romaticize it - *cough* Vegeta *cough*! And forgiving said genocider not once, but twice, is just as unforgivable, and should be aknowledged as such, instead of being heavily idolized and romanticized by the plot, and The Fandom - *cough* Goku *cough*!
And speaking of Goku... he must be the absolute worst protagonist, that I've ever seen in any anime - shonen or not-shonen - ever, Vegeta holding a strong second place! Stupid, sadistic, irresponsible, borderline-sociopath, and every good deed he ever "does", happens by accident, or because of deus ex machinas, not because he actually wants to do good, for the sake of doing good - that would be, what an actual hero would do! Most of the Fandom that adores him, are only familiar with the american dub of him, which in many cases makes him see like this "pure, angelic superman-character, who can do no wrong", which is, of course, totally wrong - both japanese dub, and the manga, will prove my point, so I won't bother with it in this review with greater detail. Goku, and the shows over-praising attitude towards him, was one of the worst things that DBZ had to offer to me, and a painful trial to sit through! He's a terrible hero, terrible friend, horrible husband and father, cares only for himself and his needs to fight, has no integrity, and little to no morality nor empathy, when it comes to well-being and happines of others. Gokus popularity stems from the facts that his disgustingly OP, which is pathetich reason to be called a hero, let alone more-than-two-dimensional character... which he's not!
Much like his son, and supposed next main protagonist-in-progress (before the horrid Buu-saga happened!), Gohan! Oh boy, what A Letdown he was! I really liked his character in Dragon Ball Special; The History of Trunks, where he finally seemed to realize the lesson that should've been pounded in his skull during the early days of Z, if he had any chance of ever being a decent hero, unlike his father; that with great power, comes great responsibility! (Great Saiybaman doesn't count!) Given his childhood and all too many horrific things that happened all aroung him, his story arc could've easily been either innocent kid turned traumatized monster, or the HoT-scenario, where he is now a hero, because he's the only one left - not necessarily, what he wants to do, or to be, but because it's the right thing to do in a situation, where no one else can. In Z, during the Cell-saga, there was some hints of that, and promise of that same progression, and character development happening, but then... the Buu-saga happened, and he literally became nothing! Not traumatized, not developed, and certainly not a hero! It's not his fault, of course, since his character was obviously too complex for Toriyama to interpretate properly, but still... man, was that a pain to sit through!
And for the sake on continuity, let's talk about Vegeta for a beat!
Oh, boi... let's talk.
I know he's supposed to be the second - if not the first - fan-favourite of the series, who everyone either wants to be, or be with, and on some level, I can see why.We live in times, where anti-heroes are the shite. The Golden Days of the underdogs. Heck, even Hitler had his fans and his wife, but... the less I say about that, the better. I won't go that much into detail of who Vegeta is as a character, but I do say this. He's not subtle. He's not complex. He's not realistic.
Ah, wait, no! He's character - from Saiyan-saga to Namek-saga... until in the early Cell-saga - is on the point. His characterization and "development" from there on out, is anything but.
He starts out as a compleetely irredeemable genocidal psychopath, a villain. And like all the good villains, he dies on Namek by the man who "created" him at the first sign of rebellion against his master - what goes around, comes around, and all that... poetic justice. But, because the Fandom loved him as a villain, he was brought back to life! He was even "redeemed" in the eyes of - most of - the Z-morons and the fans, when he no longer tried to kill any of them, blew himself up, and admitted his inferiority to Goku, which truly hurt me from the inside, when I first time saw this BS happen!
By the same logic... can the Joker be redeemed, if he just stopped killing? Or is Darth Vader allowed to join in the song and dance aroud the camp fire? And I suppose, that Tucker (FMA:B) did nothing wrong either? Bye, Nina!
By no means I intend to sound snobbish know-it-all, but as an amateur writer/movie enthusiast myself, I personally just find both the characters like Vegeta, and the consept of Vegeta - by the moral standpoint - just plain appalling, both by my personal believes and from the storytelling-point-of-views. By now, Vegeta is almost just as hyped and overrated, like a second Jesus, yet there's little to no backup to this hype! Did everyone just suddenly forgot, that this character was literally born and made to be irredeemable?! A murderer! A psychopath! Toriyama didn't intent him to stay in a story beyond his death on Namek, therefore, he made his absolute best to make him just as enjoyably despicable as possible - clearly not someone who ever was meant to be redeemed, nor to be even jokingly considered a legit hero! But... again... because he was so popular, he was allowed to stay... and, because he had to stay, the "plot" had to sorta re-write his earlier established characterization, and just "forget" that he indeed is a psychotic murderer!
What gives this franchise any right to accuse, that a murderous psychos can be redeemed from their actions, when they themselves don't even seek or feel remorse or guilt?!
A few dropped tears and temporarily/meaninglesly dying by blowing himself up, while fighting against some pink bubblegum-monster, which he himself with Goku summoned voluntarily, isn't anywhere close to redeemin years and years of fully intentionally commited attrocities in my books, so... why it is with everyone else?! Because Vegeta is a fanmade-character, and let me explain why!
Everyone inside the Fandom are always raving about how he was the most deepest of the characters. How his development from start to finish was the most realistic out of them all, how he redeemed himself and how he "was cured from his evil ways". Anyone with a half a brain can tell you, that psychopaths who fully and openly enjoy murder, without any shame or remorse, are way beyond redemption = mending their ways - simple as that. Anyone, who's ever read more than three books in their lifes can say, that Vegeta is not deep, nor complex. But I must ask... how was he redeemed, or cured, exactly?
Really... how?
The first we see him, he's a villain. The second we see hims, his villain "in bondage", according to the fans. (Yeah, he was a soldier for Frieza, but he also enjoyed murdering and conquering, and from what I saw from the anime, Frieza never once laid a finger on him before he started to rebel. Plus, Vegeta never seemed to hold much love for his own people, so... only reason for him to seek vengence is his own shattered pride as a Prince of No one? Weak.)
The third we see him, his still very much a villain, only this time, his allowed to do whatever he pleases (Androids, Cell), so he does, and everything falls to shit! In the last season, the fans keep telling me that he's no domesticated and mellowed down - while blowing away half the stadium full of people... with a smile on his face - and dying after that via suicide was his redemption. No, it wasn't. That's justice, not redemption. He was punished, not forgiven. Just because neither the story, nor these anti-morons put him on the trial, doesn't mean that he has attoned. He's just... forgotten.
Did he ever want to be redeemed? No! Did he ever came to regret his past as a genocider? Hell no! He starts out as a villain, then dies as a villain, thus serving his purpose to the story. Then, he comes back and keeps acting like a villain, but is told us to be more like a anti-hero, but is then redeemed right after he "became evil again" and killed countles people with a smile on his face.
What is this cosmic justice system, that I do not detect?! What exactly am I not seeing here?!
If a character is unfit to interpret a role that he/she is supposed to, because of his/her character traits, established characterization, past deeds or just overall face value, he/she shouldn't be put into that role in the first place. If a character enjoys murder from a day one, without any shame or regret, he/she won't get a free pass just because he/she stops for a while. Everyhting that Vegeta is, or that what he's supposed to be, past the Namek saga, is just stupid, lazy writing, and nothing more.
In my books, not every villain that wants to be redeemed can truly ever be redeemed, no matter what they do - or did, as a villains - but actually wanting to change, and to do better, is a Must. Vegeta never - as I saw it - actually wanted to change, or redeem himself. He never got that epiphany, when he was all like "this, what I do, is bad. This is what I do all day, everyday, and I don't like it anymore. I need to change. I want to change!".(Perfect moment for this would've been the Namek-saga, when he was revived, in order to make his redemption arc have a believable kick-start, and make the whole hot mess even just a little more plausible, from the storytelling point-of-view.) This acknowledgement is a key ingredient to have in pretty much every redemption arc that there is ever written, but Vegeta doesn't have this part in his. Not in the slightest. His so-called redemption was given to him by Toriyama, who just used his character to be whatever his story needed to be at a time, and nobody even blinked an eye on that, because "anti-heroes with attitude are just so fecking cool"! Everything he is, right after Namek, is a consequence of Toriyama sucking at writing consistent characters! He needed Vegeta alive because he was popular, but a villain casually hanging around with heroes makes zero sense, so he left out the whole genocidal murderer- aspect, but kept the psycho-part! Apparently, genocide after genocide is not a wrong thing to do if you can still form tears from your eyes, and stupid teenage-girls just love the idea of dangerous psycho-murderer to be their ever-devoted-yet-off-puttingly-tsundere-ish boyfriend and for the love of feck I HATE THIS DISGUSTING CHARACTER! WHY ISN'T HE DEAD?!
Vegeta is much like the poor Joker. Both of them are immoral/irredeemable for the obvious reasons, and everyone with a half a brain can understand that, but both of them has this special little portion of Fandom that desperately tries to write them sort-of redeemable/redeemed sugarpies, with tender kisses and loving embraces with their hussies! Yuk! Or better yet - Christian Grey, from Fifty shades of Grey! They're both sexualized/romanticized beyond rhyme or reason, yet still being the worst kind of scum in fiction that ever exists!
Double yuk!
Vegeta, in my books, is a close second Worst Character Ever Written In Anime History, losing only sightly to Goku, and not necessarily because of who he is, but because of who Toriyama/the Fandom are trying to make him out to be, despite all the logic and morals fighting against it. The same problem happens with Goku! You can have a character, and let him be the most unlikable/irredeemable monster that ever existed, but don't treat him like a saint and hero that he's clearly not supposed to be!
Vegeta is a victim of a poor, lazy, sloppy writing in anime, if I ever saw one. He's a hot mess. His characterization is all over the place, which apparently, makes him both deep/complex character, and "believable" hero, who he simply isn't. He isn't subtle. He's not redeemable as a villain, nor plausible as a hero, he's NOT any deeper, nor multi-dimentional, than the rest of these trainwrecks-of-a-characters, and his so-called "sacrifice" in the Buu-saga, was just as valid for a sacrifice, than cutting your long hair short - a temporary nuisance, but not a sacrifice, since it WASN'T PERMANENT, AND IN THE END, CHANGED F*CK ALL!
The otherl villains of the show aren't any better. The villains are only there, for the sake of being there, and their, as well as most of our "heroes" only motivations, are either selfish materialism, childish swagger, or yolo - nothing else! Except for Frieza! If anything else, he was a hero, for liberating the entire Universe from the plague called the saiyans, and that's saying something, when the "hero" of the story, is indeed saiyan himself!
And these are the characters, who are still idolized, and praised and worshiped by many... I wonder, why.
Oh, but I really shouldn't be too harsh! I mean... why would any of these characters use their brains to think and proceed as a coherent characters, when the premise or the retarted story/plot itself doesn't let them?! Nobody on the so-said "protag"- side ever got fitting punishment for the murders, abductions, sexual assaults, eating people, thefts and other general dickery they've ever done, in the past or the present, and we're not supposed to care any of this, because... the story doesn't, the Fandom doesn't, Toriyama sure as Hell doesn't, and neither does any of these blockhead-characters!
Nothing's ever lost, since but a single wish can just conjure it right back, and if it somehow can't, there's always some way to bend the rules and come up with another Deux ex Machina-type of asspull! No pain equals to gain, and when you'll never ever have to lose anything substantial, there's really no need to learn one's mistakes, and grow as a character! Which is a sin, that happens over and over again, saga after saga, proceeding as follows;
All the "heroes" are either stupid, men, or disgustingly immoral aliens, or both, and if there's any women to be seen, they're either annoying tomboys, bitches, or brainles baby machines, breeding cubs for ex-murderes, and sosiopathic man-children! Something happens, but later on, it just happens to be pointless and/or useless, since the plot is literaly writen by the hoarding fans, through fan-mail! Plot-devices and convenient DeM's are constantly overused and re-used, until they're either forgotten, milked dry, or turned into "buy your new super saiyan transformation here!"- type of jokes! If something bad happens - in a story, or in between the characters - it's overlooked and then just as easily forgotten, since realism holds no ground on this anime, and relationships/traumas/consequenses have nothing to do with a fighting in this world! The plot is stupid, so the characters are stupid, and it's all just laughs and giggles in the end, with no one dead and no grudges being held!
What I love in every anime even more, than a deep and smart story and plot, I love the character-interactions and bonding, that evolves and developes the plot without feeling forced or implausible. But, as much as I tried to see the friendships, the bonds and the respect between the characters and the couples, as the "story" followed, I just couldn't see any.
Why would Piccolo need any companionship from Gohan, if he truly is this "evil by heart", and haven't ever shown any actual sign of loneliness, nor need for companions in his live? Why would Chi Chi stay together with a man, who leaves her as a single mother-widow in multiple occasions with ease, just to please his own selfish desires, in a cost of a happines of his own family? Why would Vegeta ever be accepted in the group of "heroes", considering what he's done, and when he shows no actual interest to remorse, or change his ways? Why would Gohan ever respect an scary alien, who for a years has planned to kill his father, later on killed his father, then kidnapped and tortured him for a year in a wastelands, and afterwards basically stayed far away from his live, until it was being threatened, yet again? Why would Bulma - who's not a murderer, nor crazy - ever fall for a alien, who's utter and complite psycho and a murderer, has a severe inferiority complex, antisocial personality disorder, and is overally just some really disgusting, prideful asshole, with absolutely no redeeming gualities? That being said... why are the saiyans, expecially Vegeta among them, represented as these "tragic heroes, enslaved by Frieza", when all they ever truly were, was these exploited, barbaric murderers?! There's nothing tragic about them - just some poetic justice being done, and that's it! I said it once, and I'll say it again - Frieza was a hero, for killing them, end of story!
These are just a few of the burning questions, that were never answered to me during the show, but luckily, there's always fanfiction!
The cast itself, doesn't seem like truly united, in my opinion, when it comes to dynamics between characters. Most of the time, the whole cast of characters just seemed to be "on the same side against the much bigger evil", and not much else. If there's any warmth or respect ever felt or seen between any of them, is either very limited, or almost non-extintant... which is, to me, the complite opposite from the cast of deep, multi-dimensional and interesting characters, yet alone well-working team dynamic! Which is, I guess, just as fell, since the only characters, that get any development - in power, that is - are the saiyans, leaving humans and other aliens to either be victims in the gutter, stupid jokes, or eye candy for a girls... or girly boys.
Most of these relationships would be - in real life, or in complitely different franchise - either out of place, implausible, or downright insulting/ludicrous, and the reason why they work so well in this franchise, is because they are contantly and superficially being glamourized, and idealized, done pretty much more or less because of the retarted plot and overall idioticy.
The plot doesn't want to go into the dark places, that in any other franchise it would, because most of these situations would be impossible to avoid, but still, somehow, it still seems to hold some of them most "believable", "deepest", and "truest" lovestories ever made in any other anime... at least, according to the fans! And sure, I can see it too, now! Of course mortal enemies can be friends! Of course a evil alien can have his best buddy from a son of his latest victim! Of course any sane woman would be so hellbend to stay with her first childhood-crush, that she wouldn't even think about getting a devorse at some point, even if the said man is gonna stay away from her life for good, and voluntarily never come back! Of course the son of the said man would still adore and love said man as his father, even if he's just gonna die soon anyway, or just leave! Of course the said man can throw his 11-year-old child to the wolfs, smile from afar, die and leave his family for seven-or-so years, and still be welcomed back as a beloved "angel" that he obviously is... not! Of course the formal villains get to stay with the heroes, if they won't kill any of the main cast, and if they happen to bank themselves a respectable tail in the process, all the better - no atonements needed! Of course any sane, hybristophilic woman would both copulate and live together with a murderous psychopath, who has no mental blocks to not to do whatever he wants to do, kill whoever he wants to, or just leave, whenever he feels like it! And... since, I am a girl, and we are in the subject of the parrel, we better get this over with...
The relationships/plot-convienences! Only ever created for breeding-purposes! The very first thing, that I learned from the Fandom about the subject,, was that "Vegeta and Bulma are like the Beauty and the Beast of anime couples!"
Bullshit they are!
Beauty and the Beast took some time to take to know each other, and respect each other! All these two did, was to scream, and insult each other! Call me horrible person, but that's not a relationship, that you bring your kids in... let alone marriage! I myself, personally, would feel sick to my very soul, if I had to even share my livingspace with a dangerous murderer, let alone be married with him... and Bulma does both of those, without as much as a blink of an eye! That's downright misogynist, and just highlights the common attitude towards women in general, in shonen-genre!
"Just fall in love with a guy, who went from breastfeeding to killing, killed your friends, threathened your personal safety, and has no moral/emotional boundaries to not kill you, or your loved ones at any point of time or day, if he so wishes! Who cares?!"
And hey, guess what... they don't even look each other, let alone touch eatch other, so drop that affection-BS right now! Goku and Chi Chi - still being far from a healthy couple in my books - still could talk to each other, and even hug each other, but these two... ugh!
I'm going to be completely honest here, and speak this through, since this clearly is the aspect on the show, that so strongly revolts me. Unhealthy, and misogynist are the nicest ways for me to describe it, and even then I shudder! The very concept of Vegeta/Bulma- relationship, and the fact that the Fandom still thinks, that it's both believable, plausible, and admirable - something, that could be considered as a "perfect example of a perfect, loving couple" - truly makes me sick to my stomach! If I'm really living in a world, where Toriyama's take on romtantic love, can be equivalented on these two, I never want to love anything ever again!
Vegeta is, as a horribly damaged and disgusting person, literaly incapable of loving anyone, or caring about anything, but because Toriyama can't write and the plot is retated, he's sorta like "healed", or "reformed" later on for all of this, by god knows how, because of plot-convienences, and mind-numbinlgly insulting "love and care can turn even a Satan into a good side"- type of thinking! Vegeta was a murderer, who never regretted anything, and never ever wanted to redeem himself, or felt any kind of remorse, but still, the Fandom wants to see him as this "tough guy with the heart of gold", and it disgusts me! Bulma is sane woman - not bearable by any means, but sane... although hybristophilic... gross! - and she has a working brain to think with, so... why should she ever even look at the monster, who has no appealing character traits, nor appealing contributes... outside of her questionable tendencies to tend to want to sleep with dangerous murderers?! Oh, I know! Because of the retarted plot, fan-beloved Vegeta needing some... whatever reason to stay on Earth, and because of Bulmas Florence Nightingale- effect/hybristophilia... among the other stupidity!
It's kinda like this Joker and Harlequin- scenario, where two loonies find each other, and are utterly horrible people together - another pairing, that I cnanot support as a "romantic ad healthy couple" - but, Bulma isn't a horrible person, per say, and she could've easily have much, much better... if she even truly ever needed a man in her life to beging with! This pairing was, of course made, so that Toriyama could have more saiyans on the board to overblow this overused super saiyan- gimick of his, and it could've worked fine, if Bulma was just as crazy, disgusting and insane like Vegeta is, but no! This just isn't working! People, who openly enjoy killing and murdering, with no remorse nor empathy, aren't just cured because of TLC and off-screen sex, but, those who still adore this couple, clearly aren't on the same mind-level, like me, to comprehend that!
It was fun time to mess around with the Rule 34, but it's time to wake up. Bulma and Vegeta are a pairing, because Toriyama needes - for some reason! - some more characters in his already overloaded cast! A pairing made purely to breed - nothing else! They never were, nor they're not meant to be a pair, let alone "in love", and they're sertainly not a pairing, that you should in any way admire. If you do... I feel sorry for you. I truly do.
Goku and Chi Chi is... well... strange, to say the least. So are Videl and Gohan. Chi Chi - the misogynist joke of a woman - just decided as a child to marry him, even though Goku - sadistic, selfish, ignorant asshole - is just as horrible as a person, like Vegeta is, and then, saga after saga, it's just lonely, bitter and empty live of a baby-making machine for her, while her husband is either dead, training, fighting, or training and fighting while being dead! And the saddest part is, that no one questions this, or atleast mentions this... ever! If I was in Chi Chis shoes, it would be about one time only, when Goku's not willing to return back home from the death to his wife and child, and after that, I would say "I'm done! Do not even bother to come back anymore!" But hey, where's all glamoured idealization in that? In the perfect, idealized world, a man can be just as stupid/selfish/immature/sadistic monster as he likes, because he's friends accept it and his family is going to blindly love him in either way, and even better, he can endanger his/his family's lifes for more than one occasions, be gone for more than seven years, simply because he wants to, and even then, he can - and will - be greeted and welcomed back with a smile and the open arms! In this world, even a monster like Vegeta can easily have a woman and a child with no so much more than a time-skip, and after that, he's being called a "good guy" for there on out! They do are much, much more tolerable, and much more plausible, than Bulma and Vegeta ever were, but still... overly-glamoured idealization is still all over the place! Videl and Gohan were just some rushded surprise-bump behind the corner, and not even very interesting bump to that! They're high school-sweethearts, and if I know anything about of how nicely that's gonna some day work out for them... well... there's enough of that in fanfiction's Piccohan-section, I assume.
Then, lastly, Krillin and 18. My fave. No, honestly, it is! I liked character of an 18, since she had the attitude, and the spunk. Krillin is just... nice. He's nice, I give him that. And, he seems to be pretty much the only one out of the cast, who doesn't treat women as objects, or who isn't too deep in that "I'm strong macho man, I need no women around me!"- gay-closet, that so many others in this macho-club seems to be stuffed in. AND, he atleast says, that he loves his woman, which is something that's almost never ever heard of, in the whole franchise! But, sadly, this pairing isn't without it's own idealization, either. When 18 was a single, she was awesome - her own person, indepented and strong. When Krilling fell for her, she became a plot-devise. When she became a mother and a wife, she became totally dispensable.
So, in a summary; Goku and Chi Chi was like 'friends with benefits', Vegeta and Bulma like the landlady, and murderous, disgusting tenant, who should have stayed dead on Namek, and should have burned to alive, repeatedly, for all I care! Krillin and 18 where the typical case of trophy wife, and a loser husband - insert the '18 as a baby machine'- joke here - and Gohan and Videl felt more like brother and sister to me... gross! Obviously, this show wasn't ment to have anything else but fighting and training, and just as well, romance doesn't fit into that mold. Idealization and retarted plot is truly needed, to pull some of these parinigs off, and as a woman myself, I can't say that I can approve any of this.
Enjoyment (1)
As I've already said time and time again, I really did hate this peace of turd. For the lowest common denominator, this indeed is the absolute best than can ever exist in the world of anime, but me... I already now much better works, than this one.
And let me say this, right here and now! Akira Toryjama is a interesting artist, but a terrible writer, and even worse stroyteller, and really should just stick with his poop jokes.
To me, this anime was like that shitpie, from The Help. You know? First, I was promised to have this delicious pie, that I thought had everything, that any great pie should have - the looks, the taste, and the overall enjoyment, of the... well, pie! So I took the spoonful, and said myself "Well, it's not good, but if I keep eating it, prehaps I get used to it!" So I did, and I kept eating and eating, and ultimately getting myself sick just by realizing, how much more I still had to go through! So I asked, what was this pie made of, and I was given a simple answer, "My shit!" So I vomited, and cried, and prayed for any God or Devil to come and take me away to death, so I woudn't hurt no more!
There's really no rhyme, nor reason, for why this anime got so many 10/10, in my humble, totally buttfucked opinion - smells like nostalgia-blinded fans, brown nosing all over the place! It's like seeing the fans of this series eating the same shitpie, while still enjoying themselves to the fullest, and you know that the pie is made of shit, but you can't say anything, or you'll get a sporke in your eye! It's sad, and it's pathetic, and it's really... really disgusting, and I feel so bad for them... for actually liking to eat someones shit! Shitpie, that's actually - and I'm not kidding - five times too long, compared to it's totally hollow substance! Any competent writer could have told a story as shallow and empty such as this, with 50 or so- episodes, with ease, and still leave some of that oh-so-beloved filler in!
Majority of people like mindlesness - not needing to think, or use their minds, when they can just find a easiest way possible to entertain themselves for a while, which mostly is explosions and violence. For that, and for that purpose alone, DBZ is indeed unparralleled. It's shallow and repetitive, and yet at the same time full of that mind-numbning violence and power-porno, that most of it's targeted demographic - the lowest common denominator - loves so much, thus somehow keeping it alive decades later... much like all those old fighting-games, with no plot but tons of blood and jiggly boobies! As much as I too would like to be lenient towards mindlesness, I really cannot find any real value, nor entertainment in it, that would satisfy me in any way.
I already listed some of my favourite anime-works on this review, and compared to those, DBZ boths seems, and feels like an empty husk, with decent colors, but no real substance, or triggers to keep my mind just as interested of what I'm seeing, like in FMA:B, or Madoka Magica. I want to be invested! I want to feel what I'm seeing in front of me, and think what I'm being subjected to - both bad, and the good! Not for once, did DBZ ever managed to come even close to that same level of quality that I demand from my entertainment, and so, it will forever be to me, the absolute worst anime, that I've ever seen. Period.
"But... but! DB and DBZ were the very first of their kind as a epic battle shounen series! They revolutionized both anime, and shonen for decades to come! They inspired many new writers and creators, who were all influensed by Toriyama, and DBZ! Therefore, DBZ is the best anime ever!"
Yeah, but there also was a person, who was the first one to clank to pieces of wood together, and thus created both the rhythm, and the melody - two crucially important elements of today's music, as we know it. Now, just because that same person was once the first, doesn't make him the best, in my books. Maybe in your's, but certainly, not in mine.
So, obviously, to me, this was a really painful to watch! The only reason, why I'm even giving the generous 1 out of 10 to this... anime, is beause it's the lowest rating, that I can give on this scale! I even refuse to be shocked, or even surprised, that this was even more succsesful, than the first DB series was, because apparently, when entertaining fans of violence and power-porno, the lowest of the low in the barrel of shitty entertainment, is like a barrel of gold to them! Anything goes, as long as it has mucles, explosions, and painfully/obviously virgin man-children - no girls allowed in our Big-boy- club of epic constipation!
Overall (1)
Despite what I was told for so many, many many times before my times of suffering, this turd has absolutely nothing to offer for me, or those, who expect a great deal from shows they deside to invest their time on, like deep stories, subpar writing and interesting characters. DBZ is popular, that I can admit, but popularity does not equal quality, and even though this anime is still being referred to as "the Grandfather of all anime", expecially shounen, that's not really something that I can call a praise, let alone achievement. Dragon Ball- franchise as a whole, left behind a terrible legacy, that sadly still goes on strong, relishing in shallow/incompetent and inconsistent writing, two-dimensional characterization, and overall laziness, for the amusement of the lowest common denominator.
For me, this anime took way too much, and offered nothing in return, despite all of my efforts to try to find something good out of it. Only some hot air, trapped inside some nice, yet stupid-looking balloon, that you just want to pop to see, if the air inside really stinks like a turd! No deep stories, no complex and multi-dimensional - or even likable - characters, no subtle, or believable development, and no philosophical, meaningful morals or thoughts to find from anywhere! Only a story so paper-thing that you can see right through it, disconnected, empty plot, truly disgusting/toxic relationships, and mind-level/writing skills that of a fanfiction. Maybe I was hoping for too much, but honestly, the show titled as "the best anime ever made" should've easily been able to deliver! And sadly, it didn't!
I wouldn't recommend this anime even as a punishment, for my worst enemy - even I can be merciful at times! - and if you really want to see, in a nutshell, what this anime has to offer in it's core, go to the youtube, and watch that whole fucking 4 1/2 hours long fight between carrotcake and that metrosexual, albino lizard, and then proceed to the TFS's by far better parodies... if your brain hasn't escaped yet!