It's at this point evident to me, that some franchises are just designed to be utter dissapointments. Land Before Time - crap. Pokemon, after third generation - embarassing and crap. DBZ, and this movie - do you want me to get crucified?! This time, dragon testicles are gathered together in this fonderous, magical ceremony... of melting off ice! After that... eh... Bulma gets harrased... and that old goote gets abducted by those uglier saibamen... and Bulma's there too, in chains... and then fighting ensues... and some more fighting... Piccohan-fans will get something to work with... some evil lair will get obliterated to the ground, adsomething other about that brain-in-a-jar- guy who wants a body... to have sex with a Bulma, prehaps. I don't know - this story's already remainding me of those stupid rambles that my talking blue fairy brother used to tell me, when he was drunk!
If the overall score doesn't say anything to you, then I'm gonna just say it... I hate this movie. I really do - it's DBZ, so no surprises there. But why is it, exactly? Well, to put it bluntly, this movie illustrates perfectly my two favourite allegories, of bad animes, which are The Shitpie-anime, and Fanboy porn- anime! You know? It looks like a delicious pie, smells like it, and others around it say it's really good, but when you taste it, it's just mouthful of shit! And instead of story, there's just wanking, and shouting, with cheesy dialog, and nothing else! And this pie really burned my mouth quite a lot, since I actually thought, that I would be pleasantly surprised about this movie, considering how subtly it starts! Nothing groundbreaking, but still.. decent enough, for a DBZ movie. Actually... I was looking for something similar to a Pokemon 3- movie, with Gohan struggling to loose everything he loves, and cares for, while the villains having their own personal, and well-thought out plans, morals and reasons, that will force us to think, what live really is worth, how far science should really go, considering said human live, and how much can one small child actually accomplish alone, to overcome his fears, doubts, and... Yeah. I was hoping for too much, wasn't I?
The story would have actually been kinda semi-decent, if this was one of those noterous filler episodes, that most of us would just skip anyway... to get waster into the wanking... fighting, and loose all that unneede story-shite in the process. This story could have easily been told in less, than 20 minutes - 40, if we wan't to be stupid about it! With a story so small, stupid and thin, like this one, is no wonder that they needed all that meaningless and pointless fighting, in order to give this movie over 40 minutes-long runingtime - it's not like we can muster out any kinda actual story out of this, now can't we?! Instead of all this fighting and exposition, why not give us more detail about, oh, I don't know... the relationship, between Gohan and Piccolo - one friendship, almost as shrouded in darkness considering plausibility, like Bulma and Vegeta - the fragility of humanlive, and struggles between science and morals around it, or our villain... in a jar? No, in a mecha-costume! What?! How?! Why?! No, wait... I want to learn more about this guy! Is he totally insane-in-a-membrain- kinda villain, or is he just chaotic-neutral?! In a TFS parody, he was given actual personality, morals and will to just be normal human being again, with somewhat happy ending! Is none of that in here... at all?! Why you want to first control the world, with your mind, and then destroy it, like a psychotic manchild, who lost his lolligun?! Aren't you supposed to be the first actually intelligent - and therefore more conpitent - villain, in the whole franchise, with plans, means, and capability to count down the characters of pi?! Why would you want a human body, that'll age and break, if you're already a giant brain, in the almost-indestructible robot-suit, willing to take over the world?! Aren't you gonna tell us anything, about youself, that all of this exposition couldn't already tell us?! No? Nothing? Kay!
In conclusion... the story is dumb. The villain is dumb. The premise is almost decent, but the way, they executed it, was also dumb. This movie is... dumb. Just... dumb. Just as yours truly could expect, from such a dissapointing franchise, called DBZ. I can still see, why the fans of the franchise, would still like this movie, despite that it - once again - takes, more than offers. It's simple, so you won't get confused. It offers nothing to think about, so you don't need to... think about you're own morals, or sides on the story, considering the premise. The story-part of the movie is very short - about 15 minutes - and the rest of 45 minutes, is used some fighting, and 2nd-grader- level dialog - much like the tv-series - so you don't need to know, what's going on, or why are they fighting... again. And again. And again.
This is a perfect movie, for fans to wank on, and I won't take it as anything else, but that - a porn, with a dissapointing climax. I will never see it again, I will pretend for the rest of my life that I never did, and for now on, I'm gonna enjoy the glorious parody even more, than one hour ago.
Story: 2
Art: 4
Sound: 3
Characters: 3
Enjoyment: 3
Overall: 3